Is your Grandparenting Painful?

This Christmas season may be different for our grandparents. Lockdowns and pandemics are interfering with our usual Christmas plans.

Recently I received an email from a grandmother asking me to pray with her because she was estranged from her granddaughter. Her broken heart was finding it very difficult to deal with the situation like many grandparents do today. 

When we reach the mid-life years of our lives, we look forward to becoming grandparents and are very excited when our first grandchild is born and the grandchildren that follow. However, today there are many estranged grandparents with broken hearts. because they 

Being estranged from your grandchildren often results in many negative emotions. Sorting out exactly what you are feeling and developing an approach for dealing with your feelings can be vital for your health, both mental and physical. You will feel anguish as long as the separation lasts. Alienation is painful and takes a significant toll on grandparents, especially as they see their friends enjoying their grandchildren.

When grandparents are estranged from their grandchildren, it is best to pray for them and ask God to show them how they can show love to them, being very careful with their communication. Don’t give up; God is still answering prayers, often it is not on our timetable, so we have to ask for patience to wait until He is ready to answer. God’s timing is best, but often we have to wait in God’s waiting room while He is working in the hearts of our grandchildren and their parents. 

I have found the Scripture verses in Romans 8:26-28 very helpful when I don’t know how to pray for my grandchildren and their parents. Paul writes, “The Holy Spirit makes intercession for us when we don’t know how to pray.” When I ask the Holy Spirit to make intercession for me according to God’s will, it keeps me from telling God how to answer my prayer, which I love to do. Ask the Holy Spirit to make intercession for your estrangement, letting him carry the burden instead of you giving him your plan.

Here are a couple of suggestions for estranged grandparents:

1.         Don’t stop trying to keep in touch. Send cards and letters to your grandchildren, keeping the tone of any communication loving but light.

2.         Pray intentionally and regularly for your grandchildren and their parents, asking God to give you wisdom on how to approach the situation. 

My Prayer for Estranged Grandparents

Dear Father, I pray that you will give the estranged grandparents wisdom on how to approach their separation from their grandchildren. I pray your Holy Spirit will make intercession for them, allowing you to carry out your plan in your timing for their healing. Encourage them and give them peace as they intentionally pray to be a part of their lives again. In Jesus’ name. Amen

By Lillian Penner, Prayer Director for Christian Grandparenting Network lpenner@christiangrandparenting.net