Grandparenting with a Purpose: Effective Ways to Pray for your Grandchildren
Frequently I receive emails from a grandmother asking me to pray for her because of her estrangement from her grandchildren. Her heart is broken, finding it very difficult to deal with the situation, like many grandparents do today.
When we reach the midlife years of our lives, we look forward to becoming grandparents and very excited when our first grandchild is born and the grandchildren that follow. However, today there are many grandparents with broken hearts because they are estranged from their grandchildren for various reasons.
Being estranged from your grandchildren often results in many negative emotions. Sorting out exactly what you are feeling and developing an approach for dealing with your feelings can be vital for your health, both mental and physical. You will feel anguish as long as the separation lasts.
However, God is still answering prayers, often it is not on our timetable, and so we have to ask God for patience to wait until He is ready to answer. Sometimes, we have to wait in His waiting room while He is working in the hearts of our grandchildren and their parents. God’s timing is best.
I have found the Scripture verses in Romans 8:26-28 very helpful when I don’t know how to pray for my grandchildren and their parents. Paul writes, “The Holy Spirit makes intercession for us when we don’t know how to pray.” When I ask the Holy Spirit to make intercession for me according to God’s will, it keeps me from telling God how to answer my prayer, which I love to do. Ask the Holy Spirit to make intercession for your estrangement letting him carry the burden instead of you giving him your agenda.
Very often all we can do is pray, pray and pray, waiting on God to do the work in healing the wounds.
If you are an estranged grandparent, would you share some of your thoughts with me or place them in the comments.?
Here are a couple of suggestions for estranged grandparents:
- Don’t stop trying to keep in touch. Send cards and letters to your grandchildren maintaining the tone of any communication loving but light.
- Pray intentionally and regularly for your grandchildren and their parents. If you don’t know how to pray for them sign up to receive my blog regularly and I will send you “31 Scriptures to Pray for your Grandchildren” which you can download without cost and print.
I have found uniting in prayer with other grandparents for my grandchildren is a special blessing for me. It’s a safe place to share my concerns for my grandchildren as they are growing up in our post-Christian culture. It comforts me to know the other grandparents in my group are also praying for my grandchildren
Christian Grandparenting Network now has many Grandparents@Prayer (G@P) intercessory groups 
meeting in the U.S., Philippines, Canada and South Africa, in retirement Centers, schools, churches, and homes. We would like to see the number of G@P groups grow. Some of the groups meet weekly, some twice a month or once a month, whatever the group desires. I want to challenge you to ask God whom He would like you to ask to pray with you for each other’s grandchildren. Ask your friends, church senior group, neighbors, family members or whomever. My group started with 2 of us for several months but has grown to 12.
To learn more go to https://christiangrandparenting.net/grandparents-at-prayer read about how to sign up to get more information. You may also email sherry@christiangrandparenting.net
The legacy of a praying grandparent will live on forever
Prayer
Dear Father, I pray that you will give the estranged grandparents wisdom how to approach their separation from their grandchildren.
I pray your Holy Spirit will make intercession for them allowing you to carry out your agenda in your timing for their healing.
Encourage them and give them peace as they intentionally pray and patiently wait for the parents to allow them to be a part of their lives again.
In Jesus’ name. Amen
By Lillian Penner, Co-Prayer Director, Christian Grandparenting Network lpenner@christiangrandparenting.net
My husband and I are a couple of those estranged grandparents I and agree, it’s terribly painful. I’ve sought the counsel of a godly therapist and she has helped me walk through this. I have searched my heart and soul and acknowledged to the best of my ability my part in this. I have written letters to both my son and daughter-in-law asking for forgiveness but to no avail. The only hint of why this continues is that my son has told me his wife “has a hard time letting go.” Unfortunately the kids are caught in the middle. We are like people who show up occasionally and then they don’t address us as grandma and grandpa but only speak in “yes or no” answers if we try to engage them in conversation.
I started a little journal for each of them and write my thoughts occasionally in hopes that someday they may wonder who I was and what I was like and to know that I prayed for them. The oldest is 15 now and it hurts to think I don’t know her or her sisters other than what they look like in pictures. My grandparents were such an integral part of my life it grieves me to think they don’t have that in their lives.
While this is so very painful, I praise the Lord our other children have been very affirming of our granparenting. We are blessed to beloved and welcomed into their childrens’ lives. We truly appreciate the blessing of grandchildren.
I like your suggestion of letting the Holy Spirit intercede for us because He knows what needs to happen.
Juliie, thanks for sharing your broken heart. I can understand that it would be very painful. I am happy to hear that you do have relationships with your other grandchildren. I will be praying for you.
Lillian Penner
My husband and I are a couple of those estranged grandparents and I agree it’s terribly painful I have sought the council of a godly therapist and she has help me walk through this. I have searched my heart and soul and have acknowledged to the best of my ability my part in this. I have written letters to both my son and daughter-in-law asking for forgiveness but to no avail. The only hint of why this continues is that my son has told me his wife has a hard time letting go. The only hint of why this continues is that my son has told me his wife “has a hard time letting go.” Unfortunately, the kids are caught in the middle. We are like people who show up occasionally and then they don’t address this as grandma and grandpa but only speak in “yes or no” answers if we try to engage them in conversation.
I started a little journal for each of them and write my thoughts occasionally in hopes that someday they may wonder who I was and what I was like and to know that I prayed for them. The oldest is 15 now and it hurts to think I don’t know her or her sisters other than what they look like in pictures. My grandparents were such an integral part of my life it grieves me to think they don’t have that in their lives.
Wow this is so very painful, I praise the Lord our other children have been very affirming of our grandparentIng. We are blessed to be loved and welcomed into their childrens’ lives I truly appreciate the blessing of grandchildren.
Thank you for this post. It has been 6 years since I have seen my grandchildren and it has broken me in so many ways. Because of the circumstances, I am very careful of how I deal with this. I don’t try to contact them. I am afraid that if I did that, there would be retaliation and that would really bother me. Anyhow, thank you for addressing this growing problem. I think it has something to do with the breakdown of families in general.
I use intentional prayer, and I am glad that you mentioned that. I have had some results that I don’t want to mention because I don’t want the wrong people to hear, but please keep praying for all of us and especially for our grandchildren.
Ingrid, I am so sorry to hear about your broken heart with your grandchildren. Thank you for your encouragment to address this issue. I know there are many grandparents in the same situation. However, isn’t it wonderful that we do have the avenue of praying for them, which I feel God will honor. I will pray for you. Thanks for sharing your heart. Lillian Penner
I want to remain anonymous…but do not give up. One day our grandchild was taken from out house against our wishes. We did not know if we would see our grandchild again. But, God turned it around in a miraculous way. THere are more details that i choose not to share but DO NOT GIVE UP!! God is faithful!!!! It feels so desolate and awful at times when going through the loss of relationship or contact but don’t give up.
Grammy, Thank you for sharing your experience to encourage broken hearted grandparents.
I am sorry you had to go through the situation.
May God bless you as you encourage grandparents to not give up but keep praying.
Lillian Penner
Anyone has a suggestion for me. My oldest granddaughter (almost 22) Facebook me and told me to “take the money I saved for her college and go and buy a boat.”. I asked her why and no was not going to do that now. She is so mad a me that she again on Facebook that ” to keep her sanity” she unfriended me. Yesterday she refused to come to the house for Christmas yet she enjoyed all other family get togethers. I am so heartbroken.
Dianne,
I am very sorry to hear about your oldest granddaughter. I am sure you have a broken heart.
I am sorry I didn’t answer right away. I will be praying for you and your granddaughter to make amends. She sounds like an angry girl. We must pray that she will allow God to change her heart.
May God bless you as you trust Him for your relationship with your granddaughter.
Lillian Penner